i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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