member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
