Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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