1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
