So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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