Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Small penises have feelings too.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
