Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
