And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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