According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
