Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize