are you so shy because you have an std?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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