Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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