It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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