I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
