would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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