The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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