How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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