apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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