I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize