Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
