M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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