my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
