Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
