I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
