My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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