so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize