Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
