AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
