She is in my trunk
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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