I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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