Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
