Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
