so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I deserve this hangover.
The adults are the big ones right?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize