I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
