Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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