i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
