its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize