Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
