I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
