remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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