Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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