Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I looked at my own cervix.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
