Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
