i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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