Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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