It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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