I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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