his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
