I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize