Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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