Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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