On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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