Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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