Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
