well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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