wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
