She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize